I must admit to something. I have never once, in all my writings, written about sugar highs. So this is a first for me. Let’s begin at the beginning. And that beginning starts with CNN — naturally.

As I’ve written, CNN is in huge trouble. Their ratings suck, their CEO sucks, their programming sucks, and, well — as a network, CNN just — sucks. However, not according to CNN Leader Chris Licht. According to him, CNN Is doing better than ever. How do I know this? Mr. Licht said so.

Licht, whom I have zero respect for, managed to top Ted Cruz regarding idiotic statements. So what DID the man say? Reportedly Licht has told his staff not to worry about ratings and that viewership of the network is unimportant.

According to Mr. Licht, all those excellent ratings that CNN once had? They weren’t real! They don’t matter. They were a “sugar high.” Yep. Chris Licht compared people watching his network to an artificial sugar high.

The ratings mean nothing, Licht reportedly said. They were a fake sugar high. And Licht told his staff that, personally speaking, he wanted to avoid that sugar high. Associate professor

Johnathan Ladd put it best on Twitter: “CNN head Chris Licht told staff that he wanted to avoid the high sugar ratings. I would say mission accomplished in that department.”

I do not know if Licht said this because he’s failing or if he’s insane enough to believe it. I imagine it’s a first though — a CEO saying that they’re basically just fine without customers.

My question to Licht would be: how about a little artificial sweetener, at least? CNN is starting to look and sound like a morbidly gloomy dungeon of doom. I put it on for the first time the other night and almost instantly fell asleep. It IS good for insomniacs; I’ll give it that.

When will the higher-ups realize they do not have a news network anymore? As I stated once before, I am aware of all the conspiracy theories that Licht was brought in to wreck the network. I just don’t believe them. I happen to think that Chris Licht is simply incompetent. Hey — it happens.

So note to CNN, please do something. Bring back the sugar high where you actually were a cohesive unit with a bench of talent. Please right the ship. Pretty please, with sugar on top.

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